I've seen a disturbing trend among prayer circles within the Christian Church.
It goes something like this:
-The group leader asks if there are any prayer requests we need to be considering.
-Someone in the circle raises a hand and mentions a dear friend of theirs (whom no one else in the circle knows) who is without a job, and could we please pray for them to get a job.
-Another person in the circle raises a hand and mentions their neighbor whose mother-in-law is battling cancer. Could we please pray for her.
-Another person asks for prayer for an unspoken request.
...and on and on it goes.
There are 3 things about these prayer circles that have me concerned:
1. We have a tendency to only mention prayer requests that are not personal (to us, anyway). We are more than willing to share what is going on in someone else's life, but not vulnerable enough to share what is going on in our own lives.
(Now I realize there are a couple reasons for this. One is that it seems like other people's problems are much bigger than our own. This is a humble approach and is commended. A second is that it is a public group and I would rather share personal prayer concerns one-on-one but not to a whole group.)
These types of requests are those that no one else in the group actually care about. It may be someone in your sphere of influence and therefore meaningful to you, but because no one else in the group knows this person, we don't have any skin in the game. If we were being honest, when you ask if "we could keep Johnny in your prayers this week" our answer would come back "No, we won't. Because we won't remember Johnny this week." Not only do we not know what Johnny looks like, what he is interested in, or what his relationship with Jesus is, but we also are having a hard time remembering his name now that 30 seconds have gone by and our short term memory has lost the details of the prayer request."
2. We are quick to mention physical prayer concerns and needs but slow to mention spiritual requests. Physical requests can be tracked and are easy to identify when they are answered (or not). Either Aunt Sue's cancer is now in remission or it isn't. Either Bob got a job or he didn't. Either Mabel had a healthy baby or she didn't.
Let's start mentioning prayer requests that have a lasting impact. Let's pray for people's spiritual well-being. Let's pray for repentance and life-change and for spiritual boldness to witness around us.
3. We mention prayer requests in a group because it makes us feel good. No one is truly altruistic. We all have some sort of ulterior motive. In this case, it makes us feel better about ourselves to have a prayer request to share with the rest of the group. It makes us feel like we have friends, like we are a caring person for mentioning someone else's need, and like we are spiritual for remembering to pray for this person.
While we genuinely do care about Phil's well-being and that his prayer concern is answered, it is really helping us feel better about sharing this prayer request out loud then it is helping Phil.
This last statement raises a question:
Are prayers answered more readily if more people are praying or if fewer people who care more are praying more earnestly and frequently?
If the former is true, then by all means, keep praying in prayer circles about fringe relationships to the group dynamic. If the latter is true, then start bringing up personal requests and invite those who care for you the most deeply into your life in order to transform your character and person into Christ's character and person.
It goes something like this:
-The group leader asks if there are any prayer requests we need to be considering.
-Someone in the circle raises a hand and mentions a dear friend of theirs (whom no one else in the circle knows) who is without a job, and could we please pray for them to get a job.
-Another person in the circle raises a hand and mentions their neighbor whose mother-in-law is battling cancer. Could we please pray for her.
-Another person asks for prayer for an unspoken request.
...and on and on it goes.
There are 3 things about these prayer circles that have me concerned:
1. We have a tendency to only mention prayer requests that are not personal (to us, anyway). We are more than willing to share what is going on in someone else's life, but not vulnerable enough to share what is going on in our own lives.
(Now I realize there are a couple reasons for this. One is that it seems like other people's problems are much bigger than our own. This is a humble approach and is commended. A second is that it is a public group and I would rather share personal prayer concerns one-on-one but not to a whole group.)
These types of requests are those that no one else in the group actually care about. It may be someone in your sphere of influence and therefore meaningful to you, but because no one else in the group knows this person, we don't have any skin in the game. If we were being honest, when you ask if "we could keep Johnny in your prayers this week" our answer would come back "No, we won't. Because we won't remember Johnny this week." Not only do we not know what Johnny looks like, what he is interested in, or what his relationship with Jesus is, but we also are having a hard time remembering his name now that 30 seconds have gone by and our short term memory has lost the details of the prayer request."
2. We are quick to mention physical prayer concerns and needs but slow to mention spiritual requests. Physical requests can be tracked and are easy to identify when they are answered (or not). Either Aunt Sue's cancer is now in remission or it isn't. Either Bob got a job or he didn't. Either Mabel had a healthy baby or she didn't.
Let's start mentioning prayer requests that have a lasting impact. Let's pray for people's spiritual well-being. Let's pray for repentance and life-change and for spiritual boldness to witness around us.
3. We mention prayer requests in a group because it makes us feel good. No one is truly altruistic. We all have some sort of ulterior motive. In this case, it makes us feel better about ourselves to have a prayer request to share with the rest of the group. It makes us feel like we have friends, like we are a caring person for mentioning someone else's need, and like we are spiritual for remembering to pray for this person.
While we genuinely do care about Phil's well-being and that his prayer concern is answered, it is really helping us feel better about sharing this prayer request out loud then it is helping Phil.
This last statement raises a question:
Are prayers answered more readily if more people are praying or if fewer people who care more are praying more earnestly and frequently?
If the former is true, then by all means, keep praying in prayer circles about fringe relationships to the group dynamic. If the latter is true, then start bringing up personal requests and invite those who care for you the most deeply into your life in order to transform your character and person into Christ's character and person.
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