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Showing posts from January, 2013

Squirrels Pt. 4

And the end tally....Squirrels 0, Daniel 1

After much headache, heartache, and backache, the squirrels are gone. They survived expanding foam, loud noises, new gutters, and even escaped the clutches of The Cage. But if there's one thing a squirrel can't stand, it's having their access branches cut down.

That's right. I climbed up a 24' ladder into the limited reaches of a 124' tree and sawed the 4 low hanging branches that the squirrels had been using as rooftop access. Nevermind the powerlines that run beside the tree and connect to the rooftop, and neverind the instructions on the saw to never use the saw-on-a-pole near powerlines. The fact of the matter is that the squirrels have left of their own accord, the hole is patched, and the home owner is happy.

Now, onto creating holes inside the house--next project: first floor rehab.

Squirrels Pt. 3

‎'Twas the night of Squirrel Appreciation Day and all through the attic
not a creature was stirring though they had a place to habit.
The peanuts were placed, the cage door was sprung
And all of the gutters were carefully hung.

The tree limbs which normally hung o'er the roof
Were no longer there, it seemed they'd gone "poof!"
The homeowner leaned back and grinned like a cat,
"Now try to get off of the roof and then back!"

But weather in Cincy remains a big mystery
And squirrels don't come out when the temperature's misery.
So hunkered and fed, the beasts stayed inside
The frustrated homeowner's one-day-eviction dream died. 

The stalemate had lingered a bit more than wished,
As Old Man Winter's wind whipped 'round and swished.
The house guests stayed put as the cage door stayed lifted,
No owner will see that his tenants are evicted.

So sleep well, dear cute ones, for a day or two longer,
And chatter it up while my hate becomes stronger.
For soon I wil…

Squirrels Pt. 2

Today the sun is shining.
Today the roof is warm.
Today, the squirrels front door was located.

I heard some activity that sounded very different from leaves blowing across a rooftop. Very different from tree branches rattling. Very different than birds nesting. Very much, in fact, like squirrels--partying.

I popped my head out the bedroom window to try and catch a peep of their main entrance to the humble abode that they believe is theirs. No grand entrances or exits while I watched. "I am quite capable of producing either an entrance or an exit," says I. I got Katie and Isaiah to lean out of the window and keep a sharp eye on what I thought was the way the squirrels would make their getaway and I moved up onto the opposite side of the roof.

Upon cresting the rooftop I looked down to the far corner and saw 2 merry squirrels, chattering away about what a jolly time they were having and how good the tea is in January and what lovely crumpets Ms. Rogers makes. I proceeded to ma…

A realization on time management

This past Saturday I was talking to a friend from church and I asked him how many evenings a week he was home. I was surprised to find that he had only 3 nights A MONTH that were cyclically preoccupied. I find that a relaxing week consists of just being home more evenings than I am away (which, if you are doing the math, is being home 4 nights a week).

In college I would fill every evening with something to do, as there was always someone to fill it with--movies, games, activities, hanging out, etc. would preoccupy anytime that wasn't filled with homework or practice. Since being married, I have discovered that staying at home for dinner still counts as a date, and is still preoccupied with someone's time; and is just as fun! Since having a child, I have discovered that children need bedtimes, and bedtimes come every night. As it turns out, the rest of the world probably finds my friend's schedule to be more appetizing than mine, and I am slowly figuring out the same.


When obvious just isn't good enough...

Dear Officer Hayes from the Sheriff's Office,

I am sorry that my cow truck is not unique enough for you to notice that it is not abandoned just because it has sat in the parking lot next to the church overnight. I am sorry that it is not more of an attention getter for you--that the cow spots are not distinct enough to notice that my vehicle has been sitting at the church nearly everyday. I'm sorry that in the past year and a half, I haven't drawn more attention to which vehicle I choose to drive to the church. I'm sorry that I choose to park in the adjacent parking lot which the church paid for and that you haven't noticed that until this week. I'm sorry that I haven't left my vehicle parked overnight more than 10 times so that you would know that this wasn't a unique occasion. And I'm sorry that you think a truck painted like a cow qualifies for anything remotely  comparable to an abandoned vehicle. Next time I will try to make it more obvious tha…